9 Ways For Women To Increase Sexual Desire And Satisfaction!

9 Ways For Women To Increase Sexual Desire And Satisfaction!

Everyone deserves to enjoy sex! Men, women…everyone! Sometimes women don’t know what to do to increase their sexual desire. Some find it hard to communicate their needs for pleasure. Others don’t know what they need, and don’t know how to figure it out.

It may seem easier to avoid dealing with your sexual dissatisfaction, but doing so can lead to resentments and create distance in your relationships.

In order to increase sexual desire and satisfaction, you may need to address long-standing issues. You may need to learn new skills. Or, you may just need a few tips to spice things up. Improving your sex life can be hard work, but it’s important for your happiness as well as for your health.

Here is a list of tips for increasing your sexual desire and improving your sexual satisfaction:

  1. Discover how you like to be touched, and where.When you know what feels good, you can communicate it to your partner. Touch yourself anywhere and everywhere. Touch hard. Touch soft. Touch in circles. Touch in rhythms. Get creative!Explore yourself from head to toe. If there are parts of your body that you don’t want to touch, skip those parts for now. The goal with this is not orgasm. The goal is to see what you like, at a pace that feels safe to you, whether it leads to an orgasm or not.

 

  1. Talk about sex with your partner. If you’re uncomfortable talking about it, talk about your discomfort. Share what you hope will result from having the discussion before you have it. Ask your partner for what you need in order to feel safe and supported enough to proceed.By asking your partner to help you, you are inviting him or her to join you in your discomfort; you can’t move away from it together unless you both arrive in it.

 

  1. Expect that your partner won’t know what you need to enjoy sex. Everyone is different. Even if you’ve been with the same person for years,if you haven’t told your partner,there’s no way he or she can know. Your pleasure is your responsibility. No one “gives” you an orgasm. You control it. It’s up to you to tell your partner what you like, and ask him or her to meet your needs.

 

  1. Learn to trust yourself and others. If it’s hard for you to trust, it will be hard for you to improve your sex life. In order to get your needs met, you have to ask people to meet them. It’s hard to ask if you don’t trust that anyone will do so. Learning to trust takes time. It’s complicated.The first step is to improve your relationship with yourself; to be there for yourself in general, not just relating to sex. Listen to your gut feelings. Don’t ignore the voice inside you that warns you, even if you can’t concretely prove that voice to be right. It probably is, most of the time. When you trust yourself to take good care of yourself, it is easier to trust others because you’re listening to that voice, and it’s giving you the go-ahead. You can also talk to your partner about trust. It’s ok to have, “trust issues,” and being honest about them is a step toward healing.

 

  1. Practice having mindful sex. Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose. Mindful sex involves repeatedly returning your focus to sensations you feel in your body while having sex or masturbating. Your mind will wander time and time again during these activities. The goal is to keep refocusing, and returning to yourself. Over time, your ability to be inside your body, experiencing sensations, will improve. As you are more comfortable experiencing these sensations, you will enjoy sex more, and you may improve your ability to reach orgasm.

 

  1. Think sensual as well as sexual. Create a sexy, sensual mood. Put on lingerie, light candles, crank up some John Legend, wear you favorite
    perfume, etc. Do whatever you can to bring yourself into a sensual state of mind. This may increase your desire.

 

  1. Join a local support group, or online support group. There are support groups for women who experience shameful feelings around sex and sexuality. There are also support groups for women who experience painful sex. There are groups for women who have trouble having orgasms, or have never had an orgasm. There are endless kinds of groups online, and there are likely groups in your area. These groups can be healing.

  1. Take care of your body. Eat nutritiously, and be active. This furthers a
    healthy relationship with your body. This elevates self-esteem and improves confidence.

 

  1. Practice emotional self-care. Treat yourself well. Turn down the volume of your inner-critic, and crank up the kindness and compassion for yourself. Self-love is important for improving
    your sex life because you need to believe you deserve to receive pleasure. A healthy sex life starts with a healthy relationship with yourself.

Send your questions to therapy@caitlincantor.com! If you have them, others do too!

The information contained on Caitlin’s Couch, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and any other material thereon, is for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not intended to (and does not), provide medical advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to the reader or to any other individual. The sole purpose of Caitlin’s Couch is to promote discussion, dialogue and awareness of various topics relating to lifestyle and mental health. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment, and before undertaking a new health care regimen. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on Caitlin’s Couch.

Copyright © Caitlin Cantor 2014

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