“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”~C.S. Lewis

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”~C.S. Lewis

Right now I am at a Gestalt Therapy conference in Portugal. During a break, I came across this quote by C.S. Lewis. When I read it, I noticed a warm sensation moving through my body. Suddenly, I had tears in my eyes. These were tears of love for all of the people I have witnessed moving through the difficult process of healing and changing, as well as for myself, in recognition of my own process of change.

The process of change is often hard to trust. Sometimes, change, healing, or self-improvement (whatever you choose to call the work), happens so slowly that you can’t see it from day to day. As a result, you may think you’re not moving forward; that what you’re doing isn’t working. Then, you may give up on yourself and others who are supporting your growth.

However, if you can trust the process and keep trying, you will eventually look back and see how much you’ve changed. You will be able to see that you exist in the world in a very different way than you used to. It may not be the exact way you want, as there will likely be more work to do (with success comes more work!). But, if you don’t give up, you will get better at whatever you’re trying to do. You may even get good at it. At the same time, you may never perfect the new skills you are working on. Nonetheless, you will improve. The cliché, “progress not perfection,” is cliché for a reason. If you can recognize progress, you can celebrate yourself far more often than if you are waiting for perfection.

I like to think of the process of change this way:

Once upon a time, you couldn’t walk. You cried. You screamed. You threw tantrums. You fell on your butt–a lot! You were ready to give up and just crawl around for the rest of your life. But, you were forced to keep working on walking. Now, most of us walk without much thought. What was once so difficult is now quite easy. How many years have you been doing it? We don’t remember how difficult the struggle was, but trust me, it was rough!

If you don’t give up, things will get better. You can trust the process.

Never give up on yourself. I will not give up on you. And I will not give up on myself.

Sending love and hugs from the Gestalt Therapy conference in Portugal!

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