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Writer's pictureCaitlin Cantor

Dear Caitlin No. 12: Why do I keep attracting men who leave me for their exes or are emotionally unavailable?

Dear Caitlin,


I have the worst luck with dating and the same things keep happening to me. I am very communicative and express myself clearly yet I still continually get let down. Currently, I have just been heartbroken by my best friend who toggles between me and his abusive ex. I know he cares generously about me and has mental health problems that mess up how he handles situations but it’s hurting me. I’m walking away but feeling hopeless and sad that I’ve not only lost a lover who I was extremely compatible with but also my best friend. Why do I keep attracting males who leave me for their ex or are emotionally unavailable. I feel like I’m constantly wasting my time and emotions and the more I get broken down by these men, the more I feel like I cant take.


~Heartbroken


 

Dear Heartbroken, I’m sorry you feel so devastated and defeated. Dating is hard, and sometimes we get involved with people who can’t give us what we want and deserve. While this relationship sounds difficult, it also sounds like this person met many of your needs. So, it makes sense that you’re hurting with this loss. Losing a friend and lover is painful, and you’ll need time to grieve and heal.... Join me on my substack to read the rest of the advice! https://caitlinscouch.substack.com/


 

Need advice on dating, relationships, self-worth, boundaries, break-ups, or mental health? Send your questions anonymously and Caitlin will answer in an upcoming Dear Caitlin column! Fill out the application below!


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